The beautiful language

Feathers of our great and glorious faculty have been ruffled recently by the announcement that the reading test applied to determine entry into some classes maybe relaxed in certain situations to accommodate the needs of the computer system that is meant to control all these things. What Big Brother wants...

In some situations this may well be a good thing. Dulcie, ever anxious to improve her learning, avaricious for learning, insatiable consumer of books, addict of Bravo, attempted to register for an accounting class. Having waded through the several screens, surely enough of a prerequisite in itself, to register for the chosen class, she found herself blocked by the need, apparently, to take the reading test. Here is an adult woman (age not to be disclosed), a professional, a previous student at COD, now apparently required to take a reading test. How preposterous is that?

A recent correspondence from the college indicates perhaps that the reading test may well be put to better use in the hiring of personnel than the registering of students. I present it here verbatim to allow you to enjoy in full the mutilation of my native language.

"I would like inform you that, our next Diesel fuel delivery, will be containing a 5% Bio-Diesel formula. So I am asking for two mean's of assistance from you as supervisor's as well as from your departments' as a whole, in the means of, all your patience during this trial/experiment, while we iron out any issues that may arise from using a bio-diesel formula, we may or may not experience any issue's with this fuel, because as a starter point we are only running a 5% mix, so if any of you experience any problem's in both performance and or strange Oder's while driving these diesel vehicles, please contact me any way you would like. Thank you for you help and future understanding while we convert to this new fuel. I am including my contact information, please feel free to contact me at any time if any issues arise from this bio-diesel in your College vehicle."