Sunday, May 4, 2008

Congestion Relief

So on Saturday I ventured forth on a rare road trip, burning some more of our precious fossil fuels in the process and adding to my carbon footprint, the nagging sense of guilt all adding to the stress of the occasion, to Oakton Community College. I took to the tollway system which was a carpet of orange cones and diamond signs from beginning to end of my journey: all in the interest of "Congestion Relief" a larger board declared, though I could scarcely avert my eye from the constantly switching lanes to really digest it. In view of my considerably weakened state at the hands of a particularly virulent virus, congestion relief was what I needed, but perhaps not of the tollway's thinking. As I raised my transponder in a salute to our little Napoleon (Blago) at each "open-road tolling" stop, one finger vertical in his honor, another 40 cent deducted, I was given to thinking there are easy ways for the system to separate us from our money. Seeing as how not a single vehicle adheres to the 45 mph limit in the zones, a couple of speed cameras could be hauling in hundreds of thousands per hour at $375 a clip without the need for elaborate toll collection systems. Why don't they? The English do it with some success; even the threat of a speed camera indicated by the rectum-clenching sign induces all but the most brazen of motoring criminals to slow down. At the entrance to I-88 there was one forlorn sign warning of photo-monitoring of speed but no one believes it for good reason: it isn't done. It would seem to me far more effective in terms of road safety to enforce speed laws than erecting monuments to the Gov to shake us down for 40 cents a time.

3 comments:

Snipper "Book Zeller" said...

I too have been struck by a similar virus causing annoying congestion as well, similar to that experienced on our lovely highway system. Regrettably, each time I coughed or sneezed, I was not being paid 40 cents (80 for those non Napoleon-pass users)... Maybe I should work on something like that.

I have noticed Sir Aylwin himself has been posting here a bit more often and regrettably with finals I have been unable to keep up. Seems like some good, educational, and humoUrous reading is in order...

shirazgirl said...

A nurse friend of mine did, in fact, receive a speeding ticket in the mail for $375 about a year ago. I guess cruising at 80mph in a construction zone may be dangerous. Oddly, most of the medical professionals I know are among the most unhealthy. So it doesn't surprise me that they would also be unsafe as well. I wonder if I will maintain my Kashi obsession during my pursuit of my ADN

Aylwin Forbes said...

I think it is the case that hospitals can be among the most unhealthy places to be.

Kashi is good: I am a devotee of the "Go Lean" (but not lightly).