Sunday, May 4, 2008
So on Saturday I ventured forth on a rare road trip, burning some more of our precious fossil fuels in the process and adding to my carbon footprint, the nagging sense of guilt all adding to the stress of the occasion, to Oakton Community College. I took to the tollway system which was a carpet of orange cones and diamond signs from beginning to end of my journey: all in the interest of "Congestion Relief" a larger board declared, though I could scarcely avert my eye from the constantly switching lanes to really digest it. In view of my considerably weakened state at the hands of a particularly virulent virus, congestion relief was what I needed, but perhaps not of the tollway's thinking. As I raised my transponder in a salute to our little Napoleon (Blago) at each "open-road tolling" stop, one finger vertical in his honor, another 40 cent deducted, I was given to thinking there are easy ways for the system to separate us from our money. Seeing as how not a single vehicle adheres to the 45 mph limit in the zones, a couple of speed cameras could be hauling in hundreds of thousands per hour at $375 a clip without the need for elaborate toll collection systems. Why don't they? The English do it with some success; even the threat of a speed camera indicated by the rectum-clenching sign induces all but the most brazen of motoring criminals to slow down. At the entrance to I-88 there was one forlorn sign warning of photo-monitoring of speed but no one believes it for good reason: it isn't done. It would seem to me far more effective in terms of road safety to enforce speed laws than erecting monuments to the Gov to shake us down for 40 cents a time.